As the title says this blog is one man’s effort to make sense out of his journey fighting melanoma. I have enjoyed reading some of my fellow melanoma warriors’ blogs and thought it might be an interesting way to share what this journey has been like for me. If you find this interesting great, if not that’s great also. Selfishly this is more about me getting this out and moving on from being a cancer patient to being a cancer survivor.

Let’s clear up a few things. Yes, I know how to use spell check and no I don’t always use it. I majored in accounting, not english. I have always been a below average writer, which is why I find the therapeutic value of doing this surprising. I think for this blog to make any sense you pretty much have to go to the archive and start from the beginning which is titled “Life Is Good”

I am not a doctor or medial professional of any type. My blog is not endorsed by any medical professional or facility mentioned in it. Every decision I have made about my care was done after careful consultation with my medical team. Decisions I have made were right for me but should not in any instance be considered right for anybody else. I don't recommend taking medical advice from an accountant.


Key West

Key West
Sunset

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

So Long R.E.M. And Looking Back


It was a year ago today that I got the call telling me that I had cancer.   It was a really off day for me today and I am not sure why.  My memories of that day are very vivid and I can still hear the concern in Dr. Gs voice as he was telling me the results of my lab test.   I wasn’t planning on entering a post in the blog today but when I heard the news that REM was calling it quits this song came to mind and I began to remember how calming my sister was to me that day.  I was a mess when I called her and she talked me off the ledge as they say.  It is my most vivid memory of that day.  This was always one of those songs that has always brought me happiness and sadness at the same time.  REM was such a great band.  I still remember the first time I heard Murmur on KJHK in 83.  So sorry I never saw them in concert.  This song sums up how my year has been.  I have been so lucky and I won’t even start thanking people for fear that I will leave somebody out.  After a run of bad test/scan results last September/October, five surgeries on or around my left arm and shoulder, and nearly five months on interferon, I have been cancer free since last November.  Something I wouldn’t have bet on a year ago.  I also wanted to mention to people who support the KU Cancer center that today their application for NCI designation was sent out.  This is a huge day for cancer patients not just in Kansas City but the whole Midwest.  Some day we won’t have to travel to places like Houston or New York to receive the latest trials and treatments. 
Ok, one more video.   Eddie Vedder wrote the words to this song while sitting on his surf board in San Diego at the age of 18.  The first and third verses are true stories about his own life .  The middle verse is, well creepy I guess best describes it.  He told the story on MTV story Tellers one night how he always thought of this song as a curse or burden of some sort.  Writing it did little to help him come to terms with these events in his own life.  As this song got popular and they began to play it in concert he said people would come up to him after a show and tell him how much this song meant to them.  They told him stories of overcoming tragedy and that they felt lucky to be alive although they had no idea why they had survived.  Military vets, columbine students,, on and on people would tell him their stories.  It was then he realized why he wrote this song and that he began to find peace in his own life and come to terms with what had happened to him.  By relieving other people burdens he was able to relieve his own.  In that spirit I want to recognize my two favorite bloggers.   Rich who pens the blog http://hotelmelanoma.blogspot.com/.  Rich you always have the best takes on events and great taste in music.  Your blog has given me some much needed humor this last year.  Chelsea who pens http://adventurewithmelanoma.blogspot.com/ .  Chelsea you might be the bravest person I kind of know.  You two, MG and Tina are the biggest reasons I started my blog, and probably the reason why I will give this thing up some day.  I consider you both friends and partners in this battle.   Many clear scans ahead for us all.  This video is in HD and can take some time to load but it is worth it.  The guitar solo at the end is one of my favorites and in my opinion one of the more underrated solos in rock. 
Paul
is something wrong she said
of course there is
you're still alive she said
do i deserve to be
is that the question
and if so,...if so...
who answers?

who answers?